Workplace Bullies

Bullying is much in the news, and sometimes workplace bullying is mentioned.  Identifying bullying in the business world is problematic, because certain management styles are admired.  Usually these are characterized by adjectives such as “dynamic”, “tough”, “single-minded”, “results-oriented”, and others you can name.  The difficulty comes from the range of behaviours that create these images.  Some are good and some are bullying.

If a subordinate is bullying others, as a manager you have the responsibility to deal with the destructive behaviours.  Otherwise, the bully will gain confidence, and your management reputation will suffer in the eyes of other staff and probably colleagues.  Usually the organization’s disciplinary process will be effective: formal discussion, formal warning, suspension, dismissal.  If you need advice on how to differentiate the bullying actions from legitimate workplace behaviours, educate yourself through internet, organizational, or professional resources.

Bullying by senior managers is much more difficult to handle and more common.  If someone in another department is bullying you or other staff, discuss the situation with your boss and ask for resolution to improve organizational performance.  If your boss is bullying you, documentation is the key to working through the process for challenging inappropriate behaviour.  The Alberta Government offers an extensive tip sheet on how to identify and work through the issues. 

In all cases of bullying, focusing strictly on business goals and requirements is the safest and most effective approach.  Other people do not have to change their personalities to keep their jobs and work relationships, but they do have to change their actions and words to adhere to organizational and legal standards.  Accomplishing the most work by the most people means that everyone must feel comfortable in the workplace.

Not So Simple

Telling our staff that something is simple can undermine their confidence and over time cause them to discount our judgement.  Before speaking, we need to ask ourselves, “Is it really simple, or am I guilty of cheerleading?”

This communications fault came to mind when I read “Top 10 Ways to Make YourselfLook (and Be) Smarter” by Whitson Gordon.  While each of the techniques is quite valid, many of them are not simple at all, for example, ‘Learn a Second Language’.  Taken together, adopting all ten techniques, which he calls ‘simple tricks’, would change your life.

Communication bombards us.  Our mindset is to ignore most of it.  Thus, when we are trying to communicate with our staff, we need to be a ongoing solid, reliable source of relevant information.  As managers, we must build a reputation that engages our listeners simply because we are the ones speaking. 

If something is difficult, we must acknowledge the difficulties and outline the steps that will be implemented to reduce problems.  We can portray something as simple if it is easy and will require only casual effort.  The balance is to reduce pessimism about the hard things without over-simplifying the work we have to invest.

Wide Open

An article in Scientific America validates the commonsense observation that openness is associated with reduced stress.  “Creativity Predictsa Longer Life” by Tori Rodriguez focuses on the health benefits of openness and creativity.

Examine how much stress comes from wanting things to be done in a particular way.  People are notoriously difficult to herd.  Insisting on narrow confines for work induces stress in others and in ourselves as we try to impose on their natural tendencies.

Instead, assess how much of “my way” can be liberated to the creativity of others.  Is there really only one way to accomplish the goals?  If so, are you sure yours is the best?  The definition of “best” includes that people will voluntarily adhere to the rules or guidelines. 

Usually, solutions of problems are best when they have been developed in concert with others.  They include options that allow individuals or groups to exercise their own judgement when appropriate. 

Even when we must make a decision by ourselves, developing options is the most effective way of reducing our own stress.  Resist the impulse to select the first solution that comes to mind, because it probably has several flaws.  Rework the idea through developing options that extend the main idea and through developing contrary options.  Take a few hours or a couple of days to let your thoughts mature, then make a decision.  Your sense of confidence will minimize the stress of moving forward with implementing the decision.

Who Am I?

We each have our self-image, and we have the image we project.  Are they the same?  Projecting a severely edited image is exhausting and stifles creative energy.  Plus, expecting others to discover the hidden “you” is a doomed personal development strategy.  To manage well, we need to interact genuinely with our staff and colleagues.  To advance our careers, we need to display the traits that suit us for promotion. 

Spend some time considering which characteristics make up your personality and how they make you a good leader.  Some examples:

• Dynamic:  You like to be the visible leader and to take action.  Find a role, whether at work or as a volunteer where your dynamism shines.  In casual conversation or in a formal interview, highlight how your leadership action improved a situation, but tread the fine line between telling a good story and bragging.

• Collaborative: You like to work with in teams and involve others in arriving at decisions. Teams can sometimes discuss themselves into a standstill.  Good management requires a constant eye on completing work and achieving goals.  Learn to exercise and recognize your own leadership in efficient decision-making while accounting for the expertise and views of all participants.

• Translator:  You have the rare ability of understanding difficult or technical problems while also being able to explain a situation in layman’s language.  For a manager, being the link between the technical world of your staff and the more general world of senior management is invaluable.  You can improve decision making in the whole organization by incorporating detailed staff knowledge into the factors that will lead to action.

On Message

We are used to politicians and marketers being concerned with staying “on message”.  Sometimes it can be frustrating because they may not actually answer a question asked.  Nevertheless, it is worthwhile for managers to understand their own messages in difficult situations.

Being “on message” conveys confidence and the understanding from the audience that we have thought through issues and considered our conclusions.  Armed with confidence and a message, we are less likely to lose track of the purpose of our encounters.  Particularly in high stress moments, maintaining focus on the real issues helps us prevent the pursuit of irrelevant conversations. 

• Much Anticipated Presentation: Whether it is in the audience or in you as the presenter, high levels of anticipation create clouds of distraction.  By definition, the stakes are elevated.  Prepare by being completely ready to present and by anticipating distractions that may come from the audience.  Practice tying to the key message any possible challenges that might be raised by the audience.  Even if the questions and points are different from the ones you practiced, your mind will easily access the practiced skills and information. 

• Job Interview: You are not at the mercy of the interviewer when being considered for a new position.  As a manager you have a definite style and years of experience.  Put your resume away and think about who you are, how you define yourself, and why you want the job.  This is the set of key messages you need to recall when asked questions; in the moment before answering the question, take a breath and silently relate the point of the question to your key messages.  Reply in a manner that conveys the desired information in the context of your self-definition.  By answering each question in this way, you will create the true impression of you and your career.

How Persistent

Sometimes persistence seems to be the primary skill in management.  Giving up short circuits good ideas for many reasons.

• The time is not right.  A new project could be beneficial if only it weren’t year-end, or the launch date of an almost completed project, or just after a senior manger’s retirement, or too close to an election.
• Everyone is busy.  The organizational schedule simply may not be able to accommodate even one more idea.  Managers at every level need to make choices, and limiting the number of projects is essential to accomplish their goals. 
• Scheduling takes time.  Just contacting and meeting with people to gain agreement to a proposal takes an enormous amount of time.  Their calendars are full, causing days or weeks to pass with no action.  Their minds are on other concerns, which means having to re-contact them several times with respectful reminders.  They may have to consult with others, whose calendars are also full.

If we believe in our idea, we are fully responsible for persisting.  When confronted by delays, let the project idea incubate and use the time to improve the supporting information.  If possible, implement little bits of the idea within your scope of control.  Whenever discussions occur that touch on your idea, contribute your points and elaborate on your concepts.  Gradually, it will become part of the vision of your colleagues and will find its way into the approved project list.

Clear and Cogent

Answering a question with a waterfall of information and opinions doesn’t impress the questioner with our managerial abilities.  Management is all about identifying what is important and communicating pertinent information. If we can’t answer a question well, we may develop a reputation for poor analytical skills and indecisiveness. 

In many situations, answers to potential questions can be rehearsed, particularly for job interviews and project presentations.  Anticipate questions on the key points, contentious issues, and favourite topics of individual listeners.  Create a document, adding to the potential questions as you think through the issues.  At the same time, start adding in answers and key words for supporting information. 

A couple of days before the big event, hone the answers into clear, precise, relevant responses (in point form or statements).  Each answer should have about three main points, avoiding multiple answers squished into a run-on sentence.  Select the most relevant points and state them in a way that encourages the listeners to take notes. Use brief examples from already well-known situations or projects.  Any additional points can be used if the questioners ask for elaboration.  On the day, review and have your notes handy. Then, speak with confidence, only glancing at the notes if absolutely necessary.

After some time, using this format for responding to questions will become a confident skill.  You will be able to use the technique in unfamiliar situations when preparation has not been possible.  Answering all questions with clear, cogent responses will demonstrate your ability to manage in a wide variety of situations. 

On Being New

When we are promoted, we have a honeymoon period.  Make it last.  Rather than trying to prove you are as good as experienced staff, take advantage of ignorance and inexperience to mine the knowledge of others.

Early in your new position, set up meetings with managers, staff and colleagues to learn the ropes, gain helpful tips, avoid pitfalls, and establish friendly relations.  Unless you work in a toxic environment, most people will be happy to help you come on board and to recount their adventures as newbies.

Ask for clarification in meetings.  You may be astonished to discover how many other people in a meeting may also not know what you do not know, except they are too reticent to speak up.  Raising questions is a strong leadership trait and will minimize truly ridiculous blunders as you learn new skills.  If you are absolutely the most junior person in a room full of well-experienced individuals, make a note of your questions and ask your boss or colleagues after the meeting.

When new objectives require the performance of unfamiliar or rusty skills, gain the agreement of your boss to provide early outlines or drafts to avoid wasting everyone’s time on irrelevant tasks.  Confess your newness immediately in the spirit of acquiring new knowledge and completing goals effectively.  You must still do the work, but you can ask for guidance.

Considering that many activities in a manager’s calendar are quarterly and annual, your honeymoon could last a whole year, by which time you will be a skilled performer.

Applying for Promotion

In wanting a promotion, the actual applying for the position is almost the last step in a longer process.  We are required to work for a promotion. 

1.  Learn to do your current workload with confidence and ease.  In struggling to handle projects, you are indicating to yourself and others that promotion is not yet reasonable.  More education or training or a longer tenure in your current position can help build that needed confidence.  Taking on leadership responsibilities in your volunteer life can also help build necessary skills and ease in decision making. 
2. Look the part.  Dress in accordance with the position you want, which usually means foregoing your most comfortable and slouchy outfits.  Model your appearance on the most successful people in your organization.
3. Make your ambitions known.  Top-of-mind advertising is very effective, and the same principles work well in achieving interesting assignments.  Promotions often go to people who have taken on extra or special project work at the request of senior management, who can spend an astonishingly short period of time identifying new project managers.  Tell them you are interested and why, so your name will be at the top of their minds.

Pardon My Elbow

My favourite way of getting a group of people to talk to each other is to hold the meeting in a room that is slightly too small.  While this may seem discourteous when first considered, it actually helps groups accomplish their goals, thus, spending their time more effectively.

My first understanding of this phenomenon came about because I had to hold a vendors meeting and the only room available was cramped:  the table took up most of the space and the chairs were unsociably jammed in around it.  Literally everyone had told me that vendors would never talk to each other, including the participating vendors who thought this a quixotic idea.  My fear was that the lack of elbow-room would stultify conversation even more.  To my surprise, as the participants shared their personal space, they settled into a productive exchange of ideas and provided me with invaluable information for our project.  My conclusion: you can’t keep your distance if you are knocking elbows.

Later, another happenstance confirmed the benefits of tight space.  The senior steering committee for my project usually met in the formal boardroom associated with their status. Except on one occasion, people with even more status were meeting there, and I had to hold our meeting in the project room.  At first all the committee members sat with stiff, neutral faces, obviously unable to feel comfortable with their status in such cramped quarters.  As I left the room to fetch a document, feeling stressed myself, I quipped, “Feel free to play with the toys”, that is, the sponge toys collected by staff at conferences.  When I returned, to my astonishment, they were joking and playfully bashing their very proximate neighbours.  For the first time we had real discussion of vital issues instead of formulaic statements of principles.

Forgive Our Bosses

…as we wish to be forgiven.  No one is perfect, as we all know from personal experience.  We have to apply this knowledge when our bosses make mistakes; we have to lower our expectations.  Mature managers recognize that we are all just people.  Many staff and newer managers sometimes expect that bosses have supernatural powers and endless power.  They are disappointed when the individuals fall short of their expectations.

Why doesn’t she just tell them they have to!?  Variations of this question arise often when persuasive techniques are working very slowly.  Those who probably would not appreciate being peremptorily told what to do often think that others will obey a boss’s order.  No matter how many times complainers have found their own ways around the rules, they still expect others will fall into line when sternly told to do so.  Implementing a variety of persuasive techniques may be a better solution, since most of us expect the workplace to be a fairly participative environment.

How could he do anything so dumb!?  Perhaps he had a headache, or his wife was very ill, or he was thinking about his holiday.  As we take on more prominent roles, we make our mistakes in a harsher spotlight.  We need to overlook the genuine mistakes of others and discourage the inevitable gossip.  Plus, we need to develop good relationships with our colleagues and staff.  That way, they may cooperate when we discourage gossip, and they may forgive us when we make mistakes.

Mistakes relate to happenstance.  Errors arising from poorly done work need to be addressed in our best diplomatic manner.  Unethical behaviour is not a mistake – it is planned and must be dealt with through organizational channels set up for such reporting.

Do Something

Project prioritization is a critical part of management at every level.  No organization can do everything at once.  If a project is not included on the high priority list, does that mean nothing should be done until the next time for the prioritization process?

If we are still committed to the outcomes, doing something may increase management’s perception of our project’s value.  However, there are right ways and wrong ways of doing something.

The worst way is to go underground, deliberately subverting the priorities of senior management and draining resources from other work.  Even if we achieve our project’s goals, it is hard to claim them without displaying our own disdain for others.  Not a way to engender the trust needed for career advancement.

The best way is to incorporate some of our outcomes in the projects that are on the priority list.

• Take time to analyze the components of your project to identify those that align with high priority projects.  
• Meet with the project leader and offer ideas that will accomplish goals in both their project and yours.  
• Do not be shy about claiming credit for these ideas, because recalling these to senior management later will help your project in the prioritization process.  Or, you may find that your project can be completely achieved through collaboration with others.  

Collaborative management is a highly valued skill.  Your ability to work through others may help you be assigned a high priority project where your leadership skills can be better displayed.

Out There

Good managers extend their horizons, for both personal development and career advancement.  Even though our own organizations afford innumerable challenges on which to expend time, we need to join in the activities of other organizations as well.  Exposure to different organizational cultures reveals how other groups set priorities and make decisions.  We can merely gain understanding or we can incorporate new practices into our management style.  And, we can contribute our experience and knowledge to other groups.

•  Volunteer for a charity: Many senior managers and executives volunteer, especially in high profile charities.  Their skills will be displayed in meetings, and a keen observer can learn how to manage in various situations.  Hierarchy is often erased while participating in fund-raising activities, enabling direct interaction with people who have been successful in their careers.
• Join your professional group: Many professional associations include executives and managers at every level, and from organizations of every size.   Lunches with speakers allow for pro-active self-introduction (networking – don’t just hang out with friends), as well as listening to the messages from the respected special guest.  
• Find a board:  Volunteering as a board member can be a career in itself.  Members of high-powered boards usually were members of boards for smaller organizations earlier in their lives.  Start local with a community organization, or apply to civic boards in late August each year, or move onto the board of your favourite charity.  

Working with people from many backgrounds will be both enlightening and fun.  If it’s not, don’t give up.  Chalk the time up to experience and find another group.

Tell the Boss

Does your boss know you want new opportunities and even promotion?  Have you ever mentioned your interests outside the formality of the annual performance review?

People are assigned to special projects and initiatives throughout the year.  Often top-of-mind is the selection process, relying on your boss's intuition about up and coming staff.  Even when there is a formal competition for a temporary leadership position, those who have shown interest on a consistent basis will often be judged as the best candidates.

How do you become top-of-mind?

• Express a "non-predatory" interest in other people's projects.  You don't want to take the project over, but you can ask about their management approaches, their building of team cohesiveness, their contributions to organizational goals, etc.  Later in meetings or conversations with your boss, speak up about this information, acknowledging its source and discussing its value to all.
• In those precious "in-between moments", such as hallway encounters or waiting for a meeting to start, explicitly tell your boss of your willingness to participate in special projects when they arise.  Since you won't know what the projects will be exactly, talk about how you could contribute your management skills even while improving other skills such as negotiation, inter-departmental communication, etc.
• Always arrange your own workload so that it could be assumed by someone else.  Keep your online files in an orderly, easily-comprehended manner, using meaningful folder names.  Complete everything in a reasonable length of time, avoiding the temptation of leaving just a few little tasks until later.  Develop your subordinates to take on responsibilities that increase their management skills.  If you are indispensable in your current position, your boss can't assign you to a special project or task force. 

Too Self-deprecating

Most of us admire self-deprecating humour.  Cultivating it as our standard wit may actually undermine our career.

The self-deprecating approach requires us to slightly undermine our usual confident face to engage our colleagues in the ups and downs of life.  By using this approach continually, we may actually undermine how our colleagues perceive us and our abilities.  They may gradually believe that we are not indulging in humour but are revealing our real insecurities.

With habitual use of personal irony and understatement, we can talk ourselves into undervaluing our own skills and achievements.  Because there are no pure successes (unaided by others), we may excessively mis-portray our leadership roles, in the mistaken expectation that others will see through our self-deprecating humour to the core role we played.

While no one likes a braggart, we do have to ensure our skills are seen and appreciated if we want to be offered new positions and responsibilities.  Over the next few weeks, mentally review how you are presenting yourself in business situations and analyze how you may be perceived by colleagues and staff.  Keep your sense of humour - just make sure what you say is funny and not undermining yourself.

Ask Someone

Yesterday I enjoyed one of my favourite activities - being a Living Book.  The Calgary Public Library, among others, sponsors Living Library events in which people "check out" other people for fifteen minutes to ask them questions or hear their stories.  Yesterday's event was at Bow Valley College, mainly involving ESL students.  My "book" is about mentoring, and since few people want to know about mentoring, what ensues is a brief mentoring session.

ESL students are usually well-educated and experienced people who have made that courageous leap to live and work in a new culture and new language.  As someone who has failed to learn any other language really well, my admiration for the students is endless.  Of course, I don't have answers to all their questions about work, education or volunteering situations in Calgary.  What I can do is help them become confident in asking for information from the right sources.

Today, I am thinking that if they can find the gumption to ask for information in a foreign language, we who are comfortable in our employment should also work up the nerve to ask questions more often.

"Informational Interview" is the term: asking for thirty minutes of someone's time to elicit information about a topic we need to understand better.  This is not about idle curiosity or pursuing a hidden agenda.  These are the steps I recommend.

1. Clearly identify the topic on which you need more knowledge.
2. Write down three to five open-ended questions that directly relate to the topic and your need for information.
3. Request a thirty-minute meeting, usually by phone to ensure that your source understands and accepts your request.
4. Express your appreciation at the beginning and end of the meeting without being too effusive.
5. Ask your questions, listening carefully to enable you to ask quick follow-up questions.
6. Take notes during the meeting.
7. Arrive and leave on time.
8. Follow up with a short email, briefly stating what you learned and how it will help you.

After the first interview, capitalize on your effort and ask for other interviews from other people until you have gained enough information relevant to your topic.

Answers for Questions

At various times in our careers we face serious questions: job interviews, board scrutiny, public forums, staff reorganization meetings.  Being prepared is the best way to build our personal confidence and to convey authority to our interrogators.

"Rehearsal" is a method of preparing, once we have gathered all the facts to support our presentation, case or application.   Usually we do this by mentally thinking of things we could say.  While this is useful and can be done while walking down the street, setting time aside to concentrate is even more effective.

With dedicated time, writing out possible questions and answers is a more focussed way of preparing.  Writing engages more parts of our brain, helping us to remember the key points in our hypothetical answers.  It also enables us to analyze and revise those answers, amplifying important information and pruning extraneous points.  Also, we can consult with colleagues to improve what information we might present.

Our most dangerous temptation in writing out potential questions is memorizing the possible answers.  In that respect, "rehearsal" is not similar to delivering lines in a play.  The benefit is understanding our own thoughts, gathering relevant facts, and identifying key issues before we are sweating under the stress of the limelight.

Big Change

Today I attended the release of Vital Signs, the Calgary Foundation's report on the views of Calgarians on Calgary as a community.  The speakers got me thinking about how big changes are made - either in the community or at work.

• Vision is key.  The artist who spoke today pointed out that everyone has visions of the future.  Artists, she said, are people who never stop having visions and need to express them.  From this, I infer than some business people are a kind of artist in their chosen field, always acting on their vision of the next possibility.
• Leadership is obvious.  A single person or small group who embodies the vision and knows how to act effectively can make the biggest change seem practical.  The Ten Year Plan to End Homelessness in Calgary comes to my mind.  From the start, the business leaders who formed the initial committee spoke about the economic, societal, and humanitarian practicalities of paying attention to their goals.
• Networking is essential.  As several dictators have discovered recently, no one can order others about without enlisting and growing their network.  At every corporate level, gaining agreement through enlisting other people's ideas is the best way to tap into the communal energy that drives human enterprise.  Sometimes we want to lead the change; sometimes we can join the change others are making.
• Style is everything.  The change we want has to fit the organization, and how we manifest our enthusiasm, integrity, determination, and commitment determines whether others want to join us or shun us.  A flamboyant style in a conservative organization will antagonize as much as it energizes.  On the other hand, a quiet style could draw curious attention from an organization filled with the boisterous.  Without a style that is personal and that works, we may not even get the chance to offer our vision of change.

Not-so-hidden Agenda

Using agendas creatively can increase our influence, save our time, and organize both ourselves and others.  Not bad for 15 minutes of effort.

Agendas are not just lists of topics.  Always consider how much time will be needed to discuss any topic - be generous.  If the number of topics is too great for one meeting, consider if they all really need to discussed.  Perhaps you can address some topics without further input and report on the results.  Perhaps you can delegate some issues to subordinates; set the expectation that they will consult with the appropriate people.  Or schedule an additional meeting.

1. When you meet with your boss, enter the room with your printed agenda, one copy each.  Respectfully but boldly proffer the agenda as a mechanism for ensuring all relevant topics are covered in the meeting.  Ask for and add items that your boss wants to discuss.  Reorder the items if requested.  Use the agenda to help keep both of you focussed during the meeting, using the "excuse" or reason of keeping yourself organized.
2. If you meet with a colleague to gain agreement for a new approach, write an agenda that highlights both the pros and cons.  Methodically working through the agenda will sap emotion from the discussion, allowing both of you to recognize the pros and to think objectively about the cons.  
3. In the unpleasant circumstance of having to discipline an employee, an agenda will guide you through the process in a way that increases your confidence in remaining professional.  A human resource professional can help you identify the steps of such a meeting and phrase them in legally correct language.
4. Every meeting of groups of people cries out for a good agenda.  Even brainstorming sessions work better if we take the time to understand how such sessions should be conducted.  Ensuring that everyone knows what topics will be addressed reduces fruitless discussion and saves time and frustration for all participants.

What! Me?

Have you changed lately?  As managers we champion change.

If we are asking our staff to change, or our customers to change, or other departments to change, can we point to our own changes? Without taking the risk of making a substantial change, we become oblivious to the emotional pain caused by losing accustomed habits and personal landmarks.

Most managers are "of a certain age".  Using social media is essential to understanding the mind-set of younger staff.  If they are living and breathing Twitter and you have have not become proficient, they may consciously or unconsciously question the validity of your leadership.  At least they will characterize "management" as reluctant to change - not a good credential when you next ask them to take a new approach to work.

In presenting information, we develop comfortable and efficient habits.  The human mind likes to be surprised.  People remember things that are different, and managers cannot fight human psychology.  If we want a message to be heard and remembered, we have to devise new ways of conveying the information.  Other managers, leaders, even sales reps are our best resources.  If you are paying attention to their messages, take a moment to note how they attracted your mind.  Adapt their techniques to your own communications style.

Change is refreshing if we ask it of ourselves.  Sometimes change is forced on us.  Demonstrate to your staff that you are developing the skills to handle change and they are likely to learn from you.