You Could Ask

My upbringing by modest parents instilled the ethic that if my work was good enough, people would notice and reward it. This is the slow road to getting what we want, a road that may peter out before we get to our goals.

Much, much later I was passed over for a post that I thought was mine for sure. A not particularly kindly senior man did me the great service of telling me that I "could have asked", rather than standing back waiting to be noticed. He did not see my behaviour as modest - he saw it as complaisant.

Gradually I learned the important distinctions between hoping, demanding and asking.

• Anyone at any level in management should be forgiven for not knowing what each of their employees wants. By speaking up about our interests, managers will have us "top of mind" when opportunities arise. As we rise in the hierarchy, this is increasingly important since almost all our colleagues are as qualified as we are.
• Our agenda is probably not on senior management's agenda. What we think of as important and obvious may not even be on their radar. Do not expect other people to read minds. Talk to crucial people about your interests in a conversational, informational manner.
• Frame requests in a way that indicates interest and conveys qualifications. For instance, "I really enjoyed working on the interdepartmental strategic planning team. I certainly hope there will be more opportunities like this where I can contribute the experience I've gained over the last year."

By the time we have become managers, our organizations need our skills and knowledge. Senior managers want to know who is interested in contributing more.